Six Practices

We are going to keep this one simple. DO THE WORK. You can't cheat your way past emotional trauma. Be intentional, have a goal, put in the effort. It is worth it. You are worth it. What it looks like differs for everyone. Find something that works for you, then work it.

You can't go down this road alone. There are too many emotions involved. Your friends and community can help you but don't wait for help to come to you. Be intentional, speak up and invite people to walk alongside you. We are also big believers in getting professional counseling when needed. Even medical help if you need help with sleeping or anxiety during this period.

For us, our faith is very centric to our story — our past, present, and future. Our faith provided an anchor of hope, grace, forgiveness, and healing. Whatever that looks like for you, press into it. Do not lose this. Like a wounded or scared child, press into that safe place.

This one has a dual meaning. Be present in time and space with your emotions. Allow yourself brave space to feel all the feels — shattered dreams, shame, anger, disappointment. They are real feelings and to come out healthy sometimes you need to sit with them for a while.

Be present with other people. Isolation is a killer, quite literally sometimes when people face emotional trauma. Be intentional to be present in people's lives, and allow people to be present with you. For those you allow to be present with you, make sure they understand you don't need them to fix anything — you just need them to be there.

Regardless of if the situation was your choice or not, you need to own your part in it. We tend to be an all-or-nothing culture — either "all their fault" or "all my fault." Neither is healthy. Do the work to discover what is truth, then work on those areas in your life that you need to.

Own your shit, but nothing more. Often this requires serious reflection as well as outside help from either a professional or a trusted group of friends who know you and the situation well.

If you are not painfully honest in this journey you will end up sabotaging your healing process or at least hindering it. The truth can be hard to swallow, often harder to speak to others. But it is essential to your healing journey.

Our caveat: be wise about who you are getting vulnerable with. Not everyone can handle it. Find trusted people, and get real. Just be wise.